Blog Relax

Morning. Still feel oddly satisfied with myself. Don't know why. Two solid, hard days of messing with the computer and all I got out of it was two links, one of which wasn't "available", the other of which I knew how to do last week. But still, I have a sense of satisfaction.

And can't really say why. I suppose it's because I have a sense now that I know more than I did...? But I can't really say what. It's a little like my old truck. If it doesn't start I just open the hood and pull the green wire. I have no idea what's so special about that green wire but I do know that if I pull it the truck will start and it gives me a sense of mastery. So too with the computer. I clicked on 6 billion buttons the last two days --I'm sure it was 6 billion-- and now I know that there are a few which when punched in the right order will actually do what I want and that gives me a sense of mastery --calm, majestic, Olympian mastery. Ah, that's a lot to get from 6 buttons. Enjoy it while it lasts.

It doesn't seem this should be that difficult. It seems that with a little conversation and reason and maybe with a well considered kick you ought to be able to get the thing to do what you want. But it doesn't work that way. The computer's not an intelligence. In fact it doesn't have the brains of a bug. It's an instrument. It's nuts and bolts. They're very tiny bolts and very fast and you don't actually see them but they are nuts and bolts; and you don't twist them with a wrench you tweak them with a hyphen...which by-the-way seems rather unmanly. If you can't swing a sledge or carve with a blade it doesn't seem you're really working, and it's certainly not a work sensual and soothing. But this is a different world and you just got to get with it. You gotta do your tweaks. And there are 6 billion possible. And it's all electricity. If you do things wrong there's no connection, nothing happens. If you do things wrong, right, there's an explosion. It's only when you do a few bits right, a few bits out of a billion, in the right order, that things light up, and move. That is satisfying when it does happen. --Actually, for my purposes I do only need a small number of bits. All I have to do is find the right ones and put them in my pocket and I'll be okay... and a green wire!
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Good Bush speech earlier. If I get time I should make a note. It seems somehow meaningful to keep the personal life in some contact with public events. The public, after all, is part of the personal; but the two worlds seem not always integrated, not always expressible one within the other. That's probably good.